Does your brain ever do this to you?

Me: *playing Pokemon innocently*
My Brain: Sacredshipping.
Me: what?
Brain: Eusine and Morty are TOTALLY getting it on. Sacredshipping.
Me: That's beside the point. Go away, I'm busy with the Bug Catching Contest.
Brain: Sacredshipping.
Me: Neither of them are my type.
Brain: You're not the one doing them, so you're not required to think so. Sacredshipping. Write it.
Me: Pokemon isn't my fandom and never has been. Well, except for the anime when I was, like, prepubescent.
Brain: Gotta start somewhere. You already did those Gym Leader drabbles. How about doing some fanart too?
Me: I can't draw.
Brain: Stick figures.
Me: And I haven't got any paper.
Brain: Go buy some.
Me: I don't know where to find an art shop.
Brain: Try Google.
Me: I'm meant to be saving money, dammit.
Brain: Cheapskate.
Me: Will you please go away now?
Brain: Sacredshipping. WRITE IT.
Me: *kills a lot of innocent Caterpies*
Brain: Sacredshippingsacredshippingsacredshippingsacredshippingsacredshipping-
Me: DAMN YOU.*gives up and writes it*

Things I Have Decided About My Funeral

(My grandfather's funeral was the first one I have ever been to, and so I went into it with the manner of someone investigating a New Experience. I do not know whether or not it was typical, as funerals go, but it certainly made me formulate certain definite Ideas about what I shall arrange to have happen after I croak.)


• No leaving the planning to my widow and kids. People who’ve lost a spouse or parent have enough on their plates as it is. I will put away a lump sum for the purpose and leave instructions in my will.
• Black is a good colour, and there’s something to be said for tradition in this regard. However, to my mind it does not go far enough. Everyone in attendance should be encouraged to dress Goth.
• No fake flowers.
• No hymns. Particularly no ‘dur, dur, dur’ ones. I demand decent music.
• No Bible readings or other compulsory Christianity.
• If anyone takes the opportunity to feel up my grandkids under pretence of comforting gestures, I’m coming back and haunting them.
• No embargo on mentioning my fuckups and less attractive qualities. Everyone can bitch as much as they want about me; I won’t be in a position to mind, and anyway it’s stupid giving people rave reviews as soon as they shuffle off this mortal coil.
• No damn quiches and penance sandwiches. The funeral feast shall be a hog roast. And there shall be free beer, too.
• On the subject of food, before the funeral everyone must get together and anyone who wants to can have some tea and cake and Breton biscuits to tide them over till the pig. It’s too hard to have a ceremony if your stomach is rumbling.
• Having charity donations instead of relatives spending money on flowers is, I admit, a good idea. However, part of the funeral funds must go to at least one big bunch of tiger lilies.
• The whole thing must be outdoors.
• As soon as it gets dark, let off some fireworks.

Domestic adventures

Truefax; the difference between ordinary porridge and instant porridge is that if you try to cook ordinary porridge in the microwave, it will explode. And the writing on the side of the porridge box that says otherwise is a damn dirty lie.

Other truefax; 'My porridge has exploded' is one of the most ridiculous sentences in the English language.

Further evidence that(surprise, surprise)the Eagle is nuts.

So I'm working on a Fire Emblem fic.

Sort-of working on.

Problem is, it's a Soren-centric fic.

And problem is, Soren's company does very bad things to me. Five minutes thinking about that guy while I'm in a good mood and I want to call him up and spend the day with him putting jelly in the toilets and decorating trees with Silly String and sidewalk chalking filthy jokes at the entrance to the hospital and generally pranking the world.

So I generally end up giggling to myself and coming up with mad plots that would never really work instead of, you know, writing.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Playing with Dolls; Eagle on my toys

I will admit to being childish at times.

Okay, most of the time.

Anyway, when I really WAS a kid I had millions of plastic animals, that all had their own names and personalities, and that I acted out little stories with...actually, not so little. Great long complicated stories. I had dynasties of plastic beasties. I snuck them to school in my pencil case. It was fun. ^_^

These days? Welp, I dunno where all those plastic animals are. In the attic someplace probably...

...but in some ways, not so much has changed.

Let me tell you about Squalldoll. ^_^

Squalldoll came from the Forbidden Planet bookshop in London, part of a set of four Final Fantasy figurines; the other three were Tifa, Auron and Ashe, and were sent to three good friends of mine. He is about the same height as my thumb, and is an SD-ish rendition of the character from FF8 whom we all know and love. The one inaccuracy is his eyes; instead of grey, they are brown. He had a gunblade(Revolver model)which rested on his shoulder, but the blade broke off and got lost.

Squalldoll rides around in my pocket a good deal, occasionally coming out to investigate things. He is very comforting to hold. I awakened him a bit when I first got him(I awakened all four figures, in point of fact, and did a little extra hocus-pocus on the other three too)and he has a very definite personality. He doesn't talk much, though. In his Squallish way.

I have made a room for him out of a cardboard box, and had far too much fun doing so. In point of fact I have made two rooms as the first one was thrown away by an idiot nurse who thought it was a bit of rubbish. However, it wasn't a total loss, as the second room was, I think, somewhat better-executed. It is green and white, with a bed that came out of a Sylvanian Families set, a table made from a bit of white cardboard, a felt carpet and bedroom rug, and a picture in a little silver frame of Squall and Rinoa dancing at the graduation ball. I liked that cut-scene a great deal, not for the pairing, but because Squall was so funny being reluctant to dance, because he looked so handsome in his formal uniform and Rinoa so pretty in her yellow dress, because once they got into it they seemed to be enjoying themselves so, because the music was lovely, so solemn and so happy both at once, and because secretly, I should like to wear a smart formal uniform and dance the Dollet Waltz with a beautiful lady in a big ballroom with fireworky sky above. It just looked like such fun.

Ever since I sent the other three figures away to their respective owners Squalldoll has wanted rather for company, though he would surely deny this. Aurondoll and Tifadoll got on well with him, and I think he rather liked quarrelling with Ashedoll. Thus, since another human figure would be difficult to get hold of, I found him a pet. My(slightly)guilty fondness for Pokemon resulted in the choice of pet being Spots, a little Vaporeon figure two inches tall.(This has the added bonus that since Vaporeons have no hair, there is nothing for a Squall to be allergic to.)

Spots is doglike in obedience, loyalty and affection, but cattish in physical appearance and mannerisms. He has a collar and lead made from soft blue wool, and I am in the process of making him a room with a waterproof-paper floor where he can get as wet as he likes.

While I've never actually said so before, my mental picture of Phoenix HQ, the grand rambling place where most of my RPs with Ash take place, includes Squalldoll and Spots living loose in the walls and under the floor, purloining food from the cupboards, going on adventures in the jungle of the garden, and defending himself from too-curious animals with the aid of a sewing needle with red embroidery thread wrapped round the thick end, for a grip.

This is totally my philosophy in life

EDIT: The size is playing havoc. Gah. Well, just click on it and you'll see the punchline!

Okay, so I like this result. ^_^

http://www.helloquizzy.com/results/the-social-persona-test-version-25/?fromCGI=1&var_Maleness=1&var_Normality=-4&var_Tradition=-1&var_Dominance=1

Props also to the quizmaster for that bit of sarcasm on the entry page. XD

Because of a phone conversation yesterday

So from now on the anti-Micaiah campaign will wear cowboy hats!

*Puts on a blue one*

Because it's been bugging me a while now

Why does the word 'lemon' denote a pornographic fanfic?

I mean, why 'lemon'? What is there about citrus fruit that is reminiscent of sex?

I mean, on the one hand you have this little yellow dimpled roughly oval thing, on the other hand you have...well, you know.

If lemons are famed for anything, I thought it was staying put. I mean, when I was a kid and in the way or not doing something that I should of been then my mother would say 'Don't just sit/stand there like a lemon!' I can't really see the relevance, myself.

I. Am. Such. A. Peacock.

Skateboarder shorts.

White skateboarder shorts, to be precise.

And a white t-shirt with blue-green tigers and leopards on and a white jacket that actually gives me shoulders.

And a white headband with little black stars on.

And a necklace of snowflake obsidian chips.

Yeah, I look good. ^_^

It was twenty years ago today...

So I've finally hit the big two-zero. Somehow I can't really believe it. Probably because I'm still a scrawny little kid who looks about sixteen.

Happy birthday to me. Thulcandra has now survived two decades of Aquila Chrysaetos.

Welp, I'm still with us after all these years, so...Bring on the next two.

You're such a lovely audience, we'd like to take you home with us, we'd like to take you home. ^_-

Playing Path of Radiance again. And loving it!

So I smuggled my Gamecube into the hospital. I'm glad I did. Tellius is better than any happy pill by far!

(But Rioh, stop cheering for the Daeins when they're targeting Ranulf! It's really offputting. And if you keep it up I'll have to tell Ike why, and you don't want that, do you? :P)

Addendum: It's funny, the things names can mean. Isaac; 'he laughs'. I was laughing all right yesterday, doing my clumsy mage-dance round the courtyard, first to the Fire Emblem theme, then to Bon Jovi. I laughed, then. I laughed.

I've just realised that little correspondence, and it makes me smile inside.

Things You Should Not Do When A Patient In Hinchingbrooke Hospital

• Make sarcastic comments about nurses.
• Make sarcastic comments about doctors.
• Make sarcastic comments about support workers.
• Make sarcastic comments about ward managers.
• Ask ward managers if they think they own the place.
• Burst out laughing uncontrollably when they reply in the affirmative.
• Monopolise the TV in the Games Room, even if no-one else wants to use it.
• Monopolise the computer in the Info Zone, even if hardly anyone else wants to use it.
• Sneak into the staff-only library in order to use the computers there after being thrown out of the Info Zone.
• Use said computers in order to find game walkthroughs.
• Use said computers in order to read mindless smut.
• Walk around grinning evilly so that everyone gets worried about what you're up to.
• Contrive to find innuendos in everything staff members say, and accuse them of having dirty evil minds.
• Stick up notices saying 'ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE' on the doors to the wards.
• Stick Occupational Therapy sticky-back plastic all over the glass window on the door of your room to stop the light coming in at night and waking you up.
• Paint the glass window black with Occupational Therapy poster paint when the sticky-back plastic is discovered and removed.
• Deny that there is anything unreasonable about doing this.
• Refer to staff members as 'whassisface'.
• Refer to staff members as 'Lord/Lady Muck'.
• Refer to staff members as 'elephants' rear ends'. Even if they are.
• Sneak out of the ward without telling anyone where you are going.
• When told off for doing any of the above, smile widely, nod, then as soon as the person telling you off is out of sight, do it again.

I love doing things I shouldn't. ^__^

Utterances of the Menagerie of Doom(which is what they decided to call themselves now that FDB is no longer wholly appropriate...)

Because Athene did this with Pesky Stefen Rhymer. On the basis of 'why not?'

This will be updated erratically. Whenever they are particularly on form.

__________

“Fuck biology, we’ll just buy you a pair of kitty ears. On a headband, you know. No-one will notice the difference!”


“Puppy.”

“Puggle.”

“…you two are conspiring against me.”

“We’re conspiring for you, and don’t forget it.”


“You can’t see the Floating Island with those eyes.”


“I’m not going to tell you what I believe. You’ll only try to imitate it.”


“The Universe can always use another pair of helping hands, especially if they have spikes on and are not above dealing out a few punches.”


“There’s always something worth guarding.”


“What?! You’re my guardian angel not my libido! Are angels even meant to get-”

“Ahem…Geburah, dear.”


“Being different is one thing, being unique is another. Being unique sucks, so it’s a good thing no-one really is.”


(while dancing about at the bus-stop to a song they were looping in my head, and trying to get me to join in) “Dignity? I’m a cartoon animal! You can’t get much more undignified than that.”


“You can and should feel guilty for anything you did that made the situation worse. But feeling guilty for there being a situation at all is ridiculous. It’s just being masochistic. And not in the fun way.”


“You can’t ask a demon why it destroys stuff-well, you can, but you won’t get a straight answer and you probably won’t get a truthful one either.”


(I have a skin allergy that makes trouble if I don’t take medicine for it regularly. I’d missed a few doses, and I was sitting at the computer and scratching my belly.) “You’ll scratch off all your fur if you carry on like that.”

“I don’t have fur!”

“…Which proves my point!” (yeah, I walked into that one…)


(discussing Athene’s cohorts)“All [Vanyel’s] plans sooner or later come down to ‘blow stuff up’. Usually sooner.”


“Also, we killed binary. I think Knux stabbed it.” (Knux, I should mention, has taken to wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the message BINARY IS FOR BADNIKS. He doesn't need to wear t-shirts, so I assume he is only doing it for the lolz.)


"It never was, because it always is!"


(in response to the line ‘hanging upside-down like a bat and playing the ocarina’, in ‘out’)“Add that to the list of ‘things we haven’t done yet, but must do someday for the shock value’.”


(while talking with Athene about the fact that half the world freaks out if you Believe in anything, while the other half freaks out if you don't Believe exactly what they do)"So basically there's no room in the world for people like me. But I knew that already."

*headshake*"It means that if you want space you have to carve out your own."


"If packing is such a fucking depressing chore, what is unpacking?"


(when I got the idea that the Master Emerald must Never Be Touched In Any Circumstances)"That sounds like the sort of 'cosmic' bullshit Tigris would come up with."